The following are benefits actual users may or may not have seen in situational and postulated event horizons while using Anti-Hassle Tassels™. Actual results will vary.
Anti-Hassle Tassels™ reduce bug mess. Made from the finest grade of leather, they have the natural fly attraction properties inately found in any bovine habitat. Insects otherwise attracted to the wind screen or face shield will swerve just before the moment of impact, drawn to the siren's song of cowhide.
Anti-Hassle Tassels™ greatly improve GPS satellite reception. Lining each strand is a micro-fiber of unobtanium. When coupled with the swish pattern of tassels under locomotion, the element generates a xenna net that filters out gamma and beta rays. All of which is to say, you can more easily find out where you are and where you want to go.
Anti-Hassle Tassels™ enhance the picture quality of any modern digital camera. Through the photo-optic properties of the black leather and mutli-surfaced tassels, unattractive light is absorbed leaving only the beautiful light for the current generation of digic sensor in your camera.
One of the advantages of the Anti-Hassel Tassels™ is the reduced number of flat tires. Many customers find it hard to believe, but field studies have shown a 92% decrease in the loss of nitrogen, oxygen, CO2, and traces of noble gasses from the inside of tires when using our tassels.
Anti-Hassle Tassels™ detect wind variances on remote, hazardous rides. For example, when they are hanging straight down there is little or no wind velocity. The local climate variation detection properties are not limited to just measurements of blustering. When they are soggy, there is a 78% probability it is raining. When they are encased in an icicle, it's freezing rain.
Anti-Hassle Tassels™ reduce the number of speeding tickets customers recieve on adventures. The bling factor of the tassels cannot be undervalued when it comes to establishing rapport with law enforcement officers. Should you find yourself in a conversation with a LEO, let the conversation flow to the tassels and remember to say thank you for the written warning.
Anti-Hassle Tassels™ reduce the number of locked gates. One of the more inexplicable properties of the tassels is the luck imbued upon the rider sporting genuine A-H Tassels. Should one encouter locked gates on a given day of riding, rest assured without tassels the number of incidents would be higher.
One of the greatest advantages of genuine Anti-Hassle Tassels™ is the community surrounding the use and love of tassels. Everywhere you ride, people will want to know where you got the greatest farkle since baseball cards in bicycle spokes.